Active Listening

Stress Relief Tool – Practice Active, Nonjudgmental Listening

Active, nonjudgmental listening builds trust and reduces future stress.

Have you ever spoken to someone who wouldn’t let you finish before they began to speak over you, arguing their point? They weren’t listening at all. Whether it is your friends, family, or coworkers, people who don’t listen and like to argue typically have high “self-orientations” and low “trust equations.”

The trust equation says that your trustworthiness to others is based on a formula that takes your perceived credibility, reliability and intimacy with others and divides those numbers (based on a scale of 1-10) by your self-orientation score (the number others perceive as you doing things for your own personal gain). The higher the self-orientation, the lower your perceived trustworthiness.1

Listening builds trust. When we listen—that is, truly listen—to someone, we communicate that they are important to us and have something valuable to contribute. And it should be in a receptive, nonjudgmental manner.

When people listen without judgment to each other, they set the stage to receive feedback they can’t receive in any other way. Even if you have limited time with someone, put down your phone, close your laptop, look them in the eye, be totally present with that person and listen to what they have to say.2 Not only will you build rapport with this person, you will clearly understand their issues and minimize the chance for misinterpretations and potential additional stress.

Please note that there is no guarantee a particular stress relief tool will work for you. Thus you must take complete responsibility for using them and for your own physical and emotional wellbeing. Further, Professor Pete Alexander is not a licensed health professional. Please consult qualified health practitioners regarding your use of any stress relief technique. Medical advice must only be obtained from a physician or qualified health practitioner.

  1. The Trusted Advisor – The Trust Equation
  2. Schwantes, M. – Want to Improve Your Life Instantaneously? Try These 7 Simple Habits (1 Habit per Day for 1 Week)

Posted by Professor Pete Alexander

A seasoned professional with over 35 years of Sales, Marketing, Educational and Entrepreneurial experience, Pete has battled the negative effects of stress head-on and has developed the LIGHTEN™ stress relief model that motivates his peers to better protect their health and handle challenging situations with grace and success.

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